Catch Me If You Can Carl Freer Celebrates the IT Factory Fraud – 10 years Without Being Charged and 10 Years of Continual Profit From One of the Most Audacious Scams Ever.  But Will These New Documents Change His Lucky Run?

PART ONE – 

As we enter the 10 year anniversary of the largest fraud in Danish history – the IT Factory A/S  Fraud – we join with Carl Freer, the Master Scammer, in raising a glass to what has to be one of the most audacious scams in modern history.

I’m Still Laughing! That was the best scam EVER!

Carl Freer raises his glass in celebration.  10 years on he has still never been charged in relation to the IT Factory scam, and still continues to receive payment from it.  No wonder that it, of all the many scams he has been involved in, is the one that most fills his heart with pride and his pockets with cash.   It is the scam that keeps on paying and the one he boasts about the most – money stolen in Denmark launched the public company in America.

As for us – we raise a glass to signify the launch of a new impetus to the investigation as we release documents that shed new light on what actually happened.  Astonishing documents.  Documents that by rights should finally result in Carl Freer’s apprehension and incarceration in either America or Denmark.

First a little recap

The cast of characters that set up and managed the key corporations are all convicted felons and needless to say – but worth pointing out – are hardly like to have planned a legitimate undertaking.

Carl Freer – needs little introduction on this site as we have already detailed his many arrests and convictions and have provided evidence to show that he is – to this date –  a fugitive from justice; a man on the run.

Mikael Ljungman – previously involved in the Gizmondo saga with Carl Freer.  Had been convicted of fraud in Sweden and later received a 7 year sentence for his part in the IT Factory fraud – and a luxury apartment.

Lombard Share Cert from Madero – click to enlarge

e-Commerce paid for the incorporation of LCM Lombard Capitol Management GmbH.  This company received shares in Madero/Getfugu and was used a year later to convince the Board headed by Mr. Sandstrom of Sodermalm Tenants Association in Stockholm that it had real income of SEK7million a year to assign a residential lease to Mikael Ljungman from its previous leaseholder the Head of the Swedish Mafia Roland Bjuhr.  His apartment on Strandvagen 41 was transferred into Mikael Ljungman’s name due to the stated income from LCM Lombard Capitol Management GmbH.

If LCM Lombard Capitol Management GmbH was an honest company it wouldn’t have been incorporated using money laundered from the IT Factory scam.  If LCM Lombard Capitol Management GmbH was an honest company it wouldn’t have been used to launder shares in Madero/Getfugu.  If LCM Lombard Capitol Management GmbH was an honest company it would have had a website, telephone number and business activity apart from being conceived and used to channel IT Factory funds through.

Please see link: https://translate.google.co.uk/translate?hl=en&sl=sv&u=http://www.realtid.se/gudfadern-roland-bjuhr-ut-mikael-ljungman-tar-over&prev=search

Bjorn Hoglund – He has three convictions in Sweden – In 1995 he received a suspended sentence for forging documents – in 1999 he received a 10 month sentence for accounting fraud, tax evasion and forging documents – 2007 he received a sentence of 2 years and six months for serious tax evasion, fraud and accountancy fraud.

The companies involved

IT Factory A/S – set up in Denmark and leasing and utilising Media Power and IBM technology.  Had it been an honest operation rather than a scam it would have been one of the largest tech companies in Denmark and a national success. Instead it crashed with DKK 1.1 Billion in debt – Media Power’s subsidiary e-Commerce received multi millions of dollars from the fraud.

IT Factory and Media Power collaborated all right. They were partners – in crime.

Media Power  – 100% owned subsidiary called e-Commerce.  Media Power Inc. claimed to be at the forefront of augmented reality technology and might  have been an amazing success had it not been conceived by a criminal cabal.  Carl Freer and Mikael Ljungman were its founders and Bjorn Hoglund was its Executive Vice President.  It “Partnered” with IT Factory.

Madero Inc (Later became GetFugu Inc.) –  A shell company created to receive stolen funds – it continues to trade on the stock market to this day, a fascade of legitimacy concealing a dirty truth revealed below for the first time.

GetFugu trading alert of today’s date

Much has been written in the Scandinavian media about the IT Factory fraud and if you so choose you can do further research through Google and the Scandinavian media. ( Google “IT Factory + GetFugu” and click “translate this page” on the results).

We will not rehash the information that you can find by looking up what the media have written.  Rather, by adding the missing pieces to the IT Factory puzzle we will show you how the stolen millions were washed through Media Power and its subsidiary e-Commerce and used to purchase assets which have produced even more millions for the participants of the IT Factory fraud for almost a decade.

When investigating any fraud one follows the money. Bank accounts, emails, corporate brochures, US Patent Office and the Securities and Exchange Commission all provide key data, and demonstrate that Carl Freer was, and still is, the primary beneficiary of the audacious IT Factory fraud.

We will show you that the funds from this fraud were money laundered through technology patents and shares in Madero Inc. renamed Getfugu Inc. which is still trading shares in America today.

August 29, 2008: A Public Statement issued by Media Power said that Media Power Inc. had purchased 48% of Madero, Inc. for $264,000, and received 4 million shares of common stock (non-tradable).

Madero’s sole Director was Mike Lizarraga, manager of the restaurant “El Lenador” located in Los Mochis, Sinola, Mexico.  (see SEC link)  https://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgar/data/1398667/000114420408056679/v128375_8k-a.htm

“All paid through eCommerce LLC”

Madero was a shell corporation. This statement was false.  The truth that Carl Freer, Mikael Ljungman were hiding was that e-Commerce purchased 100% of Madero, Inc. stock utilising the funds stolen in the IT Factory fraud.  So sure were they of their ability to muddy the facts that e-Commerce even paid for the office lease for Madero Inc in Rowayton $38,833.50

The documented evidence clearly demonstrates that e-Commerce purchased Madero,Inc with two payments:-

(1) $100,000 on the 1 August, 2008.

(2) $286,000 on the 28 August, 2008.

These payments were made by e-Commerce to Anna Krimshtein’s law firm.

Not satisfied with the public lie about the purchase, Media Power Inc compounded the felony by withholding the fact that the remaining 52% of Madero Inc had ALSO been purchased by e-Commerce.  This 52% was the unrestricted stock.

The 52% of unrestricted stock was transferred into companies paid for with e-Commerce funds and incorporated by Sovereign Corporate Services located at PO box 62201, Dubai, United Arab emirates, on e-Commerce directions.   (For evidence of this check these three links. LCM Lombard   Mandalay and Stone Harbour   Lynx)

Further proof of Carl Freer involvement is the email he sent on 23 December to Latham Stearn (who was later appointed Chairman) saying approximately 51% of Madero’s shares are free trading, currently held by a group of “friendly” non-affiliated shareholders (Part of email by CF)

Several months later the unrestricted stock was secretly transferred from these companies into accounts owned by the immediate family of Carl Freer, and thereby put under his control and ownership.  The funds used to purchase these shares came directly from the fraud in Denmark’s IT Factory.

So you can see why we said Carl Freer can be characterised as the largest beneficiary of the IT Factory fraud. The monies from this fraud were money laundered through the shares in Getfugu Inc. (previously Madero Inc.)

Marrianne is Carl Freer’s Mother; John Freer is Carl Freer’s Father; Ericka Lapresle is Carl Freer’s Current Wife; Susanna Passburg is Carl Freer’s Sister; Anneli Freer is Carl Freer’s ex-Wife; Mark Lapresle – a then director and board member – is Carl Freer’s Father Inlaw.

 

Click to see the other two pages.

Unrestricted shares in Getfugu Inc, are still being traded to this day.  What shareholders have not known is that all the unrestricted shares were purchased using stolen funds, that the unrestricted shares were placed in offshore companies located in Dubai (see linked data above) and later transferred into Carl Freer’s control through his family members.

In keeping with his dreams of grandeur Carl Freer’s family were registered to the “Paradise Foundation” – no doubt another of his great humanitarian and philanthropic endeavours.  Match the Certificate number on this with the number listed on page 2 of he transfer document above.

The documents we have acquired provide the missing evidence of how this fraud was orchestrated.  Media Power’s audited accounts are false; Media Power’s statements to the SEC are false; and Madero Inc (renamed Getfugu Inc.) statements to the SEC are false.

We will pass all the data collated on to the SEC, the IT Factory investigation team, American tax authorities and the FBI. We will explain to the authorities in Dubai the role they played in the fraud.

Finally, if there are shareholders in Getfugu Inc who decide to take a class action, all of our information and sources will be made available to you.

So, Raise Your Glass: –

Prost!

Cheers!

Gesondheid!

Salute!

and – especially for Carl Freer – Skål !

Singaporean company The Freer Family Tree Foundation to be reported to the Commissioners of Charities for trading without the appropriate licences and oversights for charity

Carl Freer Foundation Incorporation Docs – link

Carl Freer incorporated The Freer Family Tree Foundation  which has been soliciting for donations without relevant permits – the Information provided by Carl Freer’s Charity Foundation is verified to be bogus.  The complaint additionally highlights the fact that the Fund-raiser is ambiguous or unable to provide answers to queries on the fundraising (e.g. uses of funds received and name of the beneficiary.)

The Foundation’s chairman is Carl Freer and he uses the Foundation as a self-promotional tool.  He has paid for articles and press releases claiming that he is a Billionaire philanthropist and humanitarian – articles that aid and assist in hiding the truth about Carl Freer’s true criminal character.

We decided to file this complaint in response to the latest barrage of threats of violence.  We know Carl Freer to be a Mafia connected criminal; a fugitive from justice who likes to issue death threats.

Carl Freer lies

On the one hand he threatens violence – on the other he claims to be a billionaire philanthropist who loves to help needy orphans.  The two do not go together.

Carl Freer pays to get this stuff posted. Read the whole thing – link

The Singaporean commissioners of charities have been asked to look into Carl Freer’s eligibility newly, with accurate facts to hand, to determine if he is a fit and proper person to be running a Foundation – let alone a Foundation which, in its own video  claims to be,  “The world’s first cloud sourcing campaign site.”

(Weren’t Watstock and Hotstock the ‘world’s first’ as well?  Aren’t all of Carl Freer’s scams introduced as “world’s first”? Watopedia, Watgold, Petrofinde, Intelligentia . . .)

Carl Freer’s Foundation says it,  “works with organisations, homes, shelters and orphanages throughout the world.”  This message has been repeated for the past 4 years . . .  however we have not identified one organisation, shelter or orphanage that has actually worked with or benefitted from Carl Freer’s humanity.  And he himself – despite so many self-promoting press releases and videos – has failed to name a single one.

As a reader you can go to http://www.thefamilytreefoundation.com/home/ and see for yourselves the promises made on the website.  (We predict the site will be removed shortly after this article appears.)

The Freer Family Tree Foundation is a Nonprofit Organization.  Its Linkedin page publicly states it has 6 followers as of today’s date.

Despite only having 6 followers, the promotional video claims it has links in the social media network of over 2 million followers.  It also claims to have a shop where you can purchase relief supplies at cost.  It also claims they are growing a global network.   Claims that are belied by the fact that the only factual evidence available is the LinkedIn page of six followers.

Carl Freer is a convicted serial fraudster – Carl Freer is not a billionaire – Carl Freer is not a philanthropist – he is not a humanitarian.  Professional scepticism should be adopted when reading material produced by his hand, or paid for and distributed by his publicists.

Here is a small list of puff pieces paid for and posted by Carl Freer.

http://carlfreer.com/carl-freer-launches-familytreefoundation-com-help-charities-reach-donors-via-social-crowdsourcing/

http://carlfreer.space

http://www.1websdirectory.com/blog/interesting-facts-about-the-noted-philanthropist-and-entrepreneur-carl-freer

https://www.quora.com/profile/Carl-Freer-5

https://medium.com/@carljohanfreer/billionaire-businessman-helping-orphans-carl-freer-6725b617e059

http://freerfamilytreefoundation.com

https://www.linkedin.com/showcase/about-the-freer-family-tree-foundation/

https://medium.com/@carljohanfreer/the-family-tree-foundation-carl-freer-3a09ea0ff2d4

http://www.blufftontoday.com/blogs/tommy-wyher/2016-06-30/what-you-should-know-about-carlfreercom

https://carljohanfreer.wordpress.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-you-should-know-carl-freer-david-richerd/

http://youmob.xyz/carl-freer-carl-johan-freer-carl-j-freer/

When we contacted the Commissioners of Charities in regards to filing the complaint, we were thanked and informed, “You are going to have people who enter the charity sector for self-promotion and less than honest reasons – it’s simply a fact of life – the task is to keep exposing them and their misconduct to those who are looking for the truth.  A fraudster running a foundation asking for donations – this sounds highly irregular.”

Like any other sector, charities are not immune to criminal abuse from fraudsters. Fraud poses a serious risk to valuable funds and can damage the good reputation of Singapore charities, affecting public trust and confidence in the sector as a whole. Equally important is encouraging a culture of professional scepticism – everyone is encouraged to play their part in stopping fraud and to come forward with any concerns.

The following scenarios (described by the commission)should raise some red flags :

Fund-raiser is ambiguous or unable to provide answers to queries on the fundraising (e.g. uses of funds received and name of the beneficiary)

    Charity or organisation is soliciting for donations without the relevant permit

    Commercial or third-party fundraiser is unable to show proof that they are authorised by charity to raise funds

    There is reason to believe that the funds raised are being misused

Now that this foundation has been exposed – let’s see how long it takes for the website to come down – for the foundation to reinvent itself – this foundation provides further evidence that no one is safe from Carl Freer’s greed and self-importance.

Carl Freer laughs – Well, you have to agree, it has been a good scam.

 

 

Truth is he is NOT a billionaire, he IS a scammer, and he is NEITHER philanthropist NOR humanitarian

He is not a trillionaire either in case anyone fell for that lie.

Universally Loved Entrepreneur, Humanitarian, and Philanthropist, Carl Freer, is Poised to Become the World’s First TRILLIONAIRE

Carl Freer Due Diligence – Convictions for Fraud in 3 Countries Makes Him A Serial Fraudster

 

Carl Freer laughs – he knows that most people will never look him up and discover what a crook he is, and most of those that do find out will make excuses for him.

Carl Freer Due Diligence will always come up with the fact that he has been convicted of Fraud in 3 different countries, by 3 different courts.

Warning:  If you do not want to know the truth about Carl Freer – DO NOT READ THIS.  You can never un-know what you will read.  You will never be able to claim ignorance again. This is due diligence.

Swedish Court


Convicted
of:  Serious Fraud, and  Serious Fraud by means of document plagiarism

Laws broken:

9 kap 3 § of the penal code

9 kap 3 § and 14 kap 1 § of the penal code

German Court 

Carl Freer convicted of:

“Damaging the financial position of another for gain by fraudulent representation or distortion or concealment of the true facts thereby causing or maintaining a mistake with the intention of obtaining an unlawful pecuniary advantage for himself or for a third party.”  

French Court  –  Highest Appeals Court whose ruling is FINAL

Guilty of Fraud,

Sentenced to 2 years imprisonment,

Fined €50,000 and,

Arrest warrant issued for Carl Freer.

 

Do some due diligence

The following people should be wary of dealing with Carl Freer

Investors, shareholders, banks, landlords, staff members, ex-staff, service providers, creditors, public relations firms, accountants, company secretaries, solicitors, Government ministers, police and judges – all of whom have collectively failed to share information on Carl Freer’s criminal activities and all of whom have been victims of his lies and frauds.

Carl Freer laughs when engaged in a great scam. It is kinda funny that even with it so easy to discover that he is a crook, people still hand over their money.

If you fall into any of the above categories, Carl Freer counts on the fact that you will not read this – that you will not look him up.

 

There can be no opinion about whether Carl Freer is a criminal or not.  It is a fact.  Three different courts, in three different countries, have adjudicated that Carl Freer is a criminal.  (Links are below.)

The Court of Cassation ruled that Carl Freer MUST go to jail for the crimes he committed.

The last of these courts was the French Court of Cassation – the highest court in France, and a court with the highest of reputations internationally.

Carl Freer had taken his case there in an attempt to get an earlier conviction overthrown.

On Wednesday, 25 January 2012, the Court of Cassation heard the appeal by Carl Freer’s attorneys. After examining the evidence and considering the matter the panel of judges issued their verdict as detailed above – guilty of fraud, sentenced to 2 year jail term and fined €50,000.  An arrest warrant is active.

 

Links to all of this are provided below.  As much of this is in foreign languages, we provide a brief overview of the relevant data in the hope that it may assist you.

THE SWEDISH FRAUD

The first conviction was in Sweden on 10/10/1989.  As an 18 year old Carl Freer had forged signatures to defraud Scandinavian Private Bank (SE Banken) out of 212,772.40 SEK.

Prosecutor: Sandström, Göran, District Prosecutor Stockholm District.

Defendant: Carl-Johan Freer Defended by Klas Kanegärd, attorney/counsel (Public Defense Lawyer)

Description of Crime: Serious Fraud, Serious Fraud by means of document plagiarism

Laws (broken)

9 kap 3 § of the penal code

9 kap 3 § and 14 kap 1 § of the penal code

The judge who convicted Carl Freer regretted that due to Carl’s age, he was not imposing a custodial sentence and gave him an 18 month Conditional Sentence.

This link takes you to a Swedish Media article that explains what happened, and this link takes you to another one.  You can use Google translate to translate them.

Alternatively you could go to this link below and read the article there – it contains all the links, translations and other information relevant to the case. http://carlfreer-scammer.com/2017/06/16/carl-freer-scam-low-can-go/

THE GERMAN FRAUD

After his Swedish arrest Carl Freer moved to Vallauris, France, where he registered his new company called Well Com Motors located in Nice with other branches in St. Maxime and Cannes.  Carl Freer specialised in secondhand luxury cars, which involved further criminal activity – this time acquiring stolen exotic cars, smuggling them to Germany, Spain and France, and selling them from his company, Well Com Motors, using the alias of Brian Littlejohn.

Carl Freer was arrested in France and promptly fled to England. An International arrest warrant was issued and he spent 4 years in the UK fighting extradition to Germany.

I have attached a translation of the German case prepared by the public prosecutors office. The bill of indictment provides the background of the case.  Carl Freer German Judgement

Carl Freer was charged at that time with crimes that some say he still does to this very day:  Namely, “Damaging the financial position another for gain by fraudulent representation or distortion or concealment of the true facts thereby causing or maintaining a mistake with the intention of obtaining an unlawful pecuniary advantage for himself or for a third party.”

The Stuttgart public prosecutor, said this of Carl Freer – “the accused will be convicted of the offences as a result of this said evidence, and what very definitely speaks against him is the fact that he used a false name, and that after the cheque’s were dishonoured he disappeared”.

Carl Freer is Brian Littlejohn – Mr Z in the French Case.  Carl Freer was charged with Fraud and convicted of Fraud.

Carl Freer even admitted in an official filing to the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) that he has a criminal record.  He of course tries to explain it away as a “mistake” or an “injustice” – but the fact is that he admits that he has been convicted.

His statement in the SEC filing reads:  “In October 2005, Mr.Freer was sentenced to probation and fined by a Court in Germany, for buying four luxury cars with the a check, though Mr Freer contended he had canceled the checks after believing the cars did not have proper title and immediately informed the authorities. Upon being informed that only one of the four cars had a title issue, Mr. Freer resubmitted the check.”  (Needless to say, if that were the truth Carl Freer would not have been been found guilty of a crime and sentenced).

Here is the link to the SEC website showing the filing in its entirety.

https://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgar/data/1398667/000114420409057198/0001144204-09-057198-index.htm

When you get that page, Click on item   v165106_8k.htm    and go down the page to the heading “Director” where you will find the statement.

THE FRENCH FRAUD

As covered above Carl Freer was also convicted in France, with the conviction being fully and finally ratified by the highest Court in France.  The panel of judges ordered a 2 year jail sentence, a €50,000 fine, and issued a warrant for his arrest.

I provide links below. One goes to the French Court’s web page where the judgement is posted in French; the Second goes to the court provided translation into English.

Due to the French privacy laws, Carl Freer is referred to as “Mr. Carl X, A National of Sweden.”

One can tell that this is Carl Freer as it talks about the matters openly discussed in the German case.  The French judgement references, “the conviction pronounced by the German courts,”  including, “Mr.X’s alias.”  Court papers also refer to, “the fact that for a luxury car sales professional who operated Well Com Motors under the false name.”   The cross reference with the German case included Carl Freer alias of Brian Littlejohn.  Furthermore French privacy laws do not extend to corporate identities, therefore Carl Freer’s registered company, Well Com Motors, is named in these proceedings, and the German proceedings.

Here are relevant excerpts from the case.

That it follows from the proceedings that Mr X. was domiciled in France and that he had fled when he was wanted and that he was at the same time sought by the German authorities who issued a warrant for his arrest on 20 April 2001 and that he was subsequently arrested in Great Britain on 7 June 2001 and placed under judicial supervision. . . 

Whereas, accordingly, the warrant of arrest for Mr X. of 20 March 2002, issued in accordance with Article 123 of the Code of Criminal Procedure as regards the identity of the person, Article 131 of the Code of Criminal Procedure, validly allowed the latter to be referred to the court, the title remaining otherwise enforceable after the order for reference; That the investigating judge can not be criticized for having sought to defeat the rights of the defense by issuing an arrest warrant for serious acts of organized crime . . .

Whereas it appears from the judgment under appeal and from the pleadings that the investigating judge, having before him facts relating to international traffic in stolen vehicles, issued an arrest warrant against Mr X;

In the present case, in order to reject the objection based on a breach of that principle, the judgment under appeal holds that the accused was convicted in Germany for fraud and not for concealment

In that the confirmatory judgment under appeal declared Mr X. guilty of breach of trust and sentenced him to two years’ imprisonment and a fine of EUR 50 000;

On the grounds that it appears from the German proceedings that Mr. X. stated, at the time of the execution of the request for extradition from the German authorities, that he had sold nine vehicles under the coercion of the Mafia, that he was afraid of reprisals and that he had come to Great Britain in order to protect himself and his family; whereas it is not disputed that the four Porsche vehicles referred to being sold in France by Mr. X., manager of Well Com Motors, and that these vehicles were stolen, that Mr. X . can not validly, in order to prove his good faith, rank with the other professionals. Even when upstream of the traffic and in contact with the source of this traffic, the fact that for a luxury car sales professional who operated Well Com Motors under the false name Z For which it is not justified in any way, to sell repeatedly, In the same stroke of time, the vehicles stolen and then fleeing, abandoning his company and his domicile, testify to his complete bad faith; That the two testimonies from which it relies, drawn from the German proceedings, of which an incomplete copy is produced, no examination of the accused which is in the file contrary to what was announced in the letter of 4 November 2010 of the Council, are not of a nature To contradict this observation in a mafia context that he himself described; That the offense of concealment is constituted in all its elements, material and intentional;

Link to the Judgement in French:  https://www.legifrance.gouv.fr/affichJuriJudi.do?idTexte=JURITEXT000025215630

Link to Judgement in English:  https://translate.google.com/translate?depth=1&hl=en&prev=search&rurl=translate.google.com&sl=fr&sp=nmt4&u=https://www.legifrance.gouv.fr/affichJuriJudi.do%3FidTexte%3DJURITEXT000025215630

Summary

The three court cases above provide the proof you requested in relation to Carl Freer’s criminality.

Please take the opportunity to check the information, and then double-check it.

You are a respected media outlet, you have resources available to undertake your enquiries and we urge you to do so immediately.

You have been targeted by Carl Freer as he needs your endorsement to camouflage his true character, and allow him to perpetrate a new fraud.  You’re no longer in a state of ignorance and upon examination of the facts your professional curiosity, along with your civil curiosity, will no doubt allow you to conclude that Carl Freer provided a false declaration on the documents submitted to gain a work permit and residency in Singapore.

Doing nothing at this point is not an option.  Endorsing him, wittingly or unwittingly, is aiding and abetting a criminal.

Finally – we invite you to examine the due diligence information on the CarlFreer-scammer website. Carl Freer has not been slow to attack those courageous enough to highlight his criminality. He has previously issued defamation proceedings in Iceland – the proceedings fell at the first hurdle as he had lied to his own solicitors. Since defamation was something he couldn’t follow through, he then opted for harassment – through the Singapore courts we receive a monthly notice along with several individuals included in this process.

Perhaps the best series of articles illuminating his criminal character are these – They are interesting, well researched and well-written and provide an clear insight onto the person your organisation has associated with.  Each article links to the next:

http://www.thedrive.com/news/2559/the-weird-wild-saga-of-gizmondo-part-1

A summary of the articles can be found here – although we suggest you read the complete thing.    http://carlfreer-scammer.com/2017/05/19/colourful-crazy-criminal-carl-freer/

I will bet that even though all this information is presented to them, they will fail to act and will endorse me – and pay me. I am the best!